Lasagne Roll Ups

I love lasagne. Everyone loves lasagne. Otherwise Olive Garden wouldn't be as crowded as it is. I saw this interesting twist on making lasagne in a magazine while waiting in my doctor's office and thought  "Hey. Worth trying".

I had no recipe but who needs a recipe for lasagne anyway. I started out making my world-famous Puttanesca sauce. OK NOT world famous. Not even famous oustide my family but they seem to like it.

I sauteé one lb of italian sausage in a little bit of olive oil. Sometimes I buy it in the links and slice it up leaving the casings on or peeling the casings off and browning it like hamburger. I throw in a tsp of crushed fennel seed, a diced onion and after the onion's soft and the sausage is cooked (don't overcook) I put in a teaspoon of capers, 4 minced garlic cloves,  salt and pepper (maybe start off with 1/2 tsp salt and same for pepper) about a tsp or more of italian seasoning, sliced olives if you like olives, throw in some parsley, and 10 good sized fresh basil leaves rolled up together and sliced thin. Cutting like this is called a chiffonade. Don't ask. It comes from France and who can understand them.

My not-so-famous sauce

Then I throw in a large can of crushed tomatoes and a can of diced tomatoes. Or whatever is in my cupboard. If I have a lot of tomatoes from my garden I chop those up and use them. 1/2 cup red wine goes in next. Then I cook it on low for an hour or so. Taste from time to time and adjust seasoning.

I boil the lasagne noodles in my big white enamel pot. One large package. Put salt in the water and after the water has come to a boil put in the noodles and quickly bring back to a boil. I use tongs to separate them so they don't stick together while this happens. Don't cook the lasagne noodles all the way, about halfway so they are pliable but still underdone.

When done drain out the hot liquid. I wish I had a nickel for everytime I've burned myself doing this. I'd be a nickel-aire. Then just set the pot in the sink, running cold water into the pot of noodles to cool them down. I can sense the spirit of every dead italian grandmother in the world rolling in their graves when I say that. It's OK. I'm not Italian.

Mozzrella and basil....mmmm

Meanwhile you've set out your pint of ricotta cheese on the counter to come to room temperature, right? Oh I failed to mention that at the beginning. Shoot.Half the time I forget to do it too. In a bowl plop the ricotta, a BIG ball of mozzarella that you've grated (watch your fingers!) a handful of grated parmesan, half a handful of more chiffonaded fresh basil and two eggs. Mix it up till the eggs are incorporated.

Now for the fun part. Your lasagne noodles are cool now. Take them out one by one and lay them on a clean tea towel. Pat dry, turn over and pat again.

Voila! 

Into two 8x8 casserole dishes ladle a ladle-full of sauce.

Spread the cheese mixture onto a lasagne noodle like you are buttering it. Eye the cheese mixture and the number of noodles and guesstimate how much cheese goes onto each noodle. About two tablespoons. Once the noodle is cheesed, roll it up and place it in the casserole dish. I fit 9 to a dish.

Then ladle your sauce over the noodles and you are in the home stretch!

Put more mozzarella and parmesan on top of the noodles. More basil if you dare. Oh get crazy and put some sliced olives on top. I double-dog dare you.

Remember how you didn't cook the noodles all the way through? They will now cook in the generous amount of sauce you put over them.

Ready to rock. And roll.

Take one of the casserole dishes, put tin foil over the top and put in the freezer. You'll cook this another night when you come home from work exhausted and feeling deprived. You will be able to get through that tough day knowing there is lasagne defrosting in your fridge at home waiting for you.

Put the remaining one in the oven at 350 for oh, say half an hour to 45 minutes. Just till the sauce is boiling and filling the house with wonderful smells and the cheese is turning a lovely golden brown.

Lessons I Learned:
1. When I was a young housewife I used to overcook lasagne noodles and they'd fall apart on me. It took me 30 years to figure out I didn't need to do that.
2. Mama used to use hamburger instead of italian sausage and SLICE the giant ball of ricotta over each layer. God bless you mom. It tasted wonderful. Just not as good. It's OK. She wasn't Italian either.
3. Tip: I put  1/2 tsp of crushed fennel seeds in with the sausage. Give's it a certain je ne sais quois. But if you can find Sweet Italian Sausage (good luck) it already has fennel in it.
4. Speaking of fennel, how about chopping some up with the onion and throwing that in? Just a thought.

Hurts like the dickens

Your Horrible Warning:

Grating your thumb into the cheese adds a bit more protein but it really hurts. And I've done this more than once. I saw on Amazon.com that you can actually buy gloves that will prevent  you from grating your thumb as you grate cheese. Brilliant!  I'm just going to wait till one of the grandkids are over next time and make them do it.

Pepper Jelly Adventures

I've been determined to make Pepper Jelly since last December when a friend gave me a homemade jar. It was delicious. How difficult can it be? I asked myself. I am woman, hear me cook...between me, Google and Pinterest I can figure this out.

The cute-'nuff jars. Mr. B. is a good man.

After intensive internet research (on Pinterest), I discovered that most recipes for pepper jelly include the same basic ingredients but with varying amounts. I figure I can ballpark this. I found a recipe with a darling photo and cute jars so I bravely forged ahead. I bought the ingredients: 2 Red sweet peppers and 7 Red California (or Fresno) peppers, lotsa sugar and apple cider vinegar a bit of butter and salt and Bob's yer uncle.

Halfway through cutting the peppers into one inch pieces for the food processor I realized I needed more canning jars. Crap. 

Mr. B. (my husband) was at the discount market with Grampy right at that moment. I know that asking him to buy something as foreign to him as canning jars was tantamount to asking him to buy Tampax.

About 7 California Peppers and couple Sweet red peppers

Removing the seeds of hell-fire

So with pepper juice on my hands I called him. He hesitated but said OK and brought home the goods. The jars are not as cute as the Pinterest jars but anytime a man goes out of his way for you it's a blessing. He could have brought home a box of monkey brains and I would have praised him.

You have to put all the jars and lids in the dishwasher and punch the button that says "sanitize". This takes 12 hours for the dishwasher to complete but it must be done. Grandma did it, I must do it also.

My tiny food processor. It was red. I bought it.

The recipe said to take out the seeds and membranes of the hot peppers if you don't want to suffer the flames of hell-fire in your mouth so I did. Ain't nobody got time to suffer hell-fire.

While waiting for eternity for the jars to sterilize, I proceeded to pulverize the peppers in my tiny red food processor.

Then I had a Bright Idea. This is usually when I get in trouble—when I ad-lib. I thought adding raspberries would be delightful. They're red, right? Everyone love's raspberries and I had a 12 oz bag in the freezer.

So into the pot they went. Along with the whacked peppers.

All of the recipes I read said to add copious amounts of sugar; ranging from 5 cups to 8 cups. I split the difference and added 6 cups. Don't judge me. It's the new math.

And 1 1/2 to 2 cups vinegar. I added 1 1/2.

A tablespoon of butter and a smidge of salt.

Done.

But the jars were still in the dishwasher. So I didn't turn the fire on under the burner yet...I went outside to water my garden.

I wanted to put the finished jars into a water bath so they'd keep on the shelf. I have never done this before but how hard can it be? Grandma did it and frankly, she wasn't that bright. (please don't haunt me grandma)

While waiting for the dadburned dishwasher to finish, I consulted my BFF - Google, and evidently there is a LOT of equipment needed to can jam. What?! Really?

Photo of the junk you need to can jelly. Criminy Christmas.

My patriotic calculations

Um....no. I'll figure that out later cause the jars were ready and I needed to make the jam. 

The recipe said to add a package of liquid pectin. All I had was powdered pectin. What's the difference? The key word here is PECTIN. So once again I consulted Google for the ration of liquid to powdered. I wrote down some equations, drew a quick American Flag, circled the answer and Bob's still yer uncle.

I cooked it all in my big cast iron pot exactly as the directions said to. Then I ladled the jelly into my waiting jars. Easy peasy.

Being the queen of substitution, I gathered my homemade hot water bath tools. I boiled water in my big, enamelware soup pot and dropped the jars into the hot water using my Grabber. If you don't have a Grabber get one. They are great for retrieving things that are too high or for teasing the cat. I use it all the time. Now it's even a canning tool. Take that Google!

Here are my beauties all complete!

The Grabber. My favorite canning tool.

I had so much fun making this jelly and it is delicious on crackers with cream cheese but not very hot. I do like me some heat in my foods. So I decided next day to make Jalapeno pepper jelly and add more jalapenos than it called for. Same ingredients otherwise except green bell peppers instead of red and jalapeno peppers instead of California peppers....and no raspberries. That jelly turned out great as well.

The Lessons I learned: 

1. Improvisation is not always a smart choice but sometimes you have no choice. To wit, my Grabber. And it was fine. I lucked out on the Pectin calculations. It was perfect despite my math skills (or lack thereof). And adding the raspberries proved to be a nice touch.

2. The Big Lesson...and this is your horrible warning: The recipe said to use gloves to cut the peppers. Well I am in the bad habit of laughing in the face of good instruction and I didn't have any gloves, so I cut the jalapenos then washed my hands thinking that would do the trick. Let me interject here that you'll need to Sanitize your hands in the dishwasher for 12 hours after cutting jalapenos cause that pepper juice gets under your fingernails and doesn't want to wash away. Yes, you guessed it, I touched my eyes. Both eyes. ARRRGGGHHHHH! It was horrible. It was Traumatic. I thought I would die. I suffered the Flames of Hell Fire. 

Use Gloves.

Pepper juice eye. OMG.